[I am excited to share this insightful guest post with you today, written by the effervescent Alexis Meads of Crazy. Wild. Love. Check out her credentials and her website below -- enjoy!]
Self-love is one of those “trendy” phrases that seems to be popping up everywhere these days.
Or maybe that’s because I’m a Self-Love Coach. But if you had asked me five years ago what self-love even meant, I wouldn’t be able to tell you, nor would I know that it was greatly lacking in my life.
For years I struggled with my weight, with body confidence and with relationships. I kept myself super busy to avoid being alone. On the outside my life probably looked great, I had my ducks in a row, but yet I just didn’t feel…happy. And I didn’t know why.
Finally, after doing some deep introspective work, I realized that the answer wasn’t going to be found in the next man I dated, or job I got, or fitting back into my skinny jeans.
The answer would be found by unlocking my own heart.
Once I learned to do that, everything else fell into place. I met the man of my dreams who I’m about to marry, created a business that fills me with joy and those skinny jeans? Yup…those are back in business!
But how exactly do I describe and define self-love? Well, in two ways.
- Self-love is a state of appreciate that grows through action.
- Self-love is best not looked at as a noun but rather as a verb.
So, it grows through action.
That is very important (and a huge relief!) because it means that there are things we can actively do. Self-love is a choice we make every single day and it comes in many different flavors.
Sometimes the best way to see where we could use self-love is to look at what area of our lives is self-love lacking.
For some of my clients it comes in the form of failed relationship patterns, for others it comes from lack of motivation or purpose, and for many it comes in the way we take care of ourselves and our bodies.
You see, taking care of our bodies is one of the most direct forms of self-love.
When we make the decision to take care of our bodies in a way that feels good to us and honors the goddess that we truly are, our bodies will take care of us right back!
Those skinny jeans I mentioned earlier? I lost 20 pounds that I have been able to keep off for years.
Did I do it by dieting?
Did I do it by restricting myself in any way?
Did I do it from depriving myself?
In fact, I don’t believe in dieting. When you try to deprive or restrict yourself, you automatically think more thoughts about what you’re trying not to do. This is the law of attraction.
So if you say to yourself “I’m never going to eat any chocolate again.” It doesn’t matter that you’re saying to yourself you’re not going to eat chocolate, you’re still thinking “chocolate” all the time and much more likely to end up eating it!
And believe me, I am a lover of chocolate.
Instead, look at each time you feed your body as a way of showing yourself love. Here are some of my favorite ways to do this:
1. Grocery shopping can be a chance to practice self-love.
When you go to the grocery story, say with each item you’re choosing as you put it into the cart, “Body, I am choosing this for you because I love you.” This is a great way to censor what you buy (i.e. don’t go to the grocery store hungry!) and also to really honor yourself and your body.
2. Give gratitude before each meal.
This has become a tradition in my house. When my fiancé and I sit down to dinner, we always say five things we’re grateful for. This helps to slow down, give thanks for what you have in your life and enjoy your food. I always start by saying I’m grateful for the nourishing food in front of me and the hard work that went into it.
3. Taste, like really taste, your food.
Make it a point to sit down and eat without distractions. When we’re eating on the go or in front of a TV or computer, we often don’t even taste our food. Chances are you’ll be more likely to eat a larger quantity of food or binge eat later on. It’s important to pay attention to your food when you eat and enjoy it. Savor each bite and notice the different flavors and textures in your mouth.
From this perspective, eating truly is an act of self-love. So go ahead and treat yourself and your body with the respect you deserve!
Alexis Meads is a Self-Love Coach, Freedom Fighter and Sassy Femmepreneur. Alexis received her M.A. at Harvard University and went on to create AlexisMeads.com and Crazy Wild Love to inspire women to love themselves and create the life of their dreams. Her philosophy is that every woman deserves to feel healthy and energized every day, fall madly in love and create a life full of play and adventure. When she’s not coaching, writing or creating, Alexis can be found practicing hot yoga, hiking with her dogs, or cooking up a storm with a glass of wine in hand and French music playing in the background.